It all started on June 18th. My son, Jimi (who turns two on Monday!), thought it would be fun to spill Mylicon drops all over his sister’s room. NOT the dye-free kind. His blanket, aka blankie, happened to be in the way of the Mylicon and was splattered with pink. It had to go into the wash immediately, along with some other things that got in the way of his…er, creativity.
That day was a slow wash day. If you don’t know what I mean by that, it is when you aren’t in any hurry to “do” laundry. IF you remember you are doing laundry you switch it over. Nap time came and went and he didn’t even so much as ask for the blanket. I was so relieved, because it was still in the washer. The day got away from me and before I knew it, it was time for bed. Oops. Blankie not dry yet. I took the other clothes out of the drier to hopefully try to expedite the drying process. We did our normal bedtime routine and he went to sleep without even asking for the blankie. WOW!
Of course this was a clear indication he was done with the blankie, right?? You and me, both. The next day he was crying for it at regular intervals. My son has a very strong will and doesn’t take no for an answer. But, we made it the next two days. Unfortunately, Dapo didn’t know the whereabouts of the blanket due to my negligence to tell him. I was doing laundry that weekend and asked him to help me switch the clothes over. Jimi walked around the corner as he was pulling the blanket out of the dryer. Back to square one.
It is hard to believe it has “only” been two and a half weeks. But, to literally add insult to injury, Jimi has been banging his head on his crib at night. This was happening before the blanket was taken away. It started around Easter when we took his binky away. At bed time we would put him in the crib, and then suddenly he’s hungry, needs to potty, blankie, read, pray, Daddy, Mommy, Elmo…anything to get out.
We put our proverbial foot down, making sure he had all of those things before bed and then firmly telling him it was night time. None of that seemed to matter, because he didn’t want to go to bed. He therefore began pounding his head on the crib. Not just dully knocking, forcefully throwing. Check out my All Things Eso photo album on facebook, you can see early pictures of the damages, which don't really do it justice.
If you are a mother, or a person who is not void of a soul, then you will realize this is a very hard thing to watch and/or know is occurring in the next room. It would make me want to cry and/or cry, night after night. He would get such a look on his face when I would put him down in the crib that it made me feel like I was abandoning him. I could tell that’s how he felt, too. But, I was just in the next room. It’s not like I was dropping him off somewhere to go smoke crack. Just going to go do the dishes! Nonetheless, he looked at me with what seemed to be such terror and begging me not to do this to him. I still see that look from one night in particular very vividly.
So, I thought he felt trapped, like I was sending him to prison. Since he has a convertible crib, I asked Dapo if he would take the front rail off so we could convert to a “big boy bed”. Dapo did, and we did, but he didn’t. He still had three other sides to hit his head on, and let us know about it. Plus, now he could get out. It was constant up and “get back into bed” for a good two-three hours every night time AND nap time. All you math wizards out there know this was at least a fourth of my day. My time is being stolen, and I need that time!
On June 16th, I had been talking to the Lord about a project that has been on my heart to do for several years. The word that God spoke to our church at the turn of this year was that it would be an extraordinary year. A year of miracles, signs and wonders. Harvest time. It’s my season; my time. So this project, you see, is extraordinary. It requires some extraordinary resources. I devoted myself to Him to actually do this project and walk it out by faith on that same day. I find it to be no coincidence that I consecrated myself to use my time wisely (hence the facebook hiatus) when this time-stealing behavior began. I realize I had my hand in it, unbeknownst to myself, but this is important in understanding the magnitude of my frustration with the situation.
So these get-back-into-bed sessions were starting around 8 at bedtime, and lasting until 10:30 or 11. It was putting a strain on both of us, because we were then not able to get to bed until around midnight or one. Then because he was going to bed upset, he would wake up in the middle of the night and crawl into bed with us. We started locking our door, which he bangs with his head, of course. We are also waking up around 5 every day with Lorin. Jimi usually hears Lorin and gets up with her.
Alright, he must be scared of falling off, right? So, let’s move the mattress onto the floor. That was Friday, so it has been four nights since then. Still nothing. These last two weeks, I have taken several approaches to it. I’ve tried picking him up and placing him in the bed; sending him back to bed; switching him back to bed; yelling him back to bed; singing him back to bed; praying him back to bed; laying hands on him back to bed; and so on. I suppose it goes without saying (well, I guess not, since I’m saying it) that Dapo’s and my relationship has taken a bit more stress on because we aren’t having time to spend with each other after the kids go to bed. On the nights that Jimi helps himself to our bed, our sleep is interrupted by that as well.
Further exacerbating the problem is that I began to come off of Zoloft (an anti-depressant for PPD) on June 11th. Thank God for that! My dreams had gone beyond vivid, and my doctor said it was attributed to that drug. My doctor decreased my dosage on the 11th, and on the 25th took me off of it entirely. The point here is that I was a little wobbly emotionally, like after you take the training wheels off of your bike.
Another extenuating circumstance is that I have not been able to go to the gym these last few weeks, because he is also only getting about seven hours of sleep a DAY. He tends to have greater trouble listening and gets rowdy and frenetic when he is tired.
The first Sunday of the month we have Saturation Meetings at church. Usually my pastor lays hand on everyone who wants hands laid on them. I had determined on Friday that I was going to have pastor lay hands on Jimi and me for this, because I have had enough! I am seeking God’s wisdom on what will work for my boy, because my heart aches for him and my body longs for sleep. I was determined this was going to end this weekend. If you were at this service, you may have seen me expressing some victory. If you weren’t at the service, think Chris Farley in Tommy Boy when he is attacked by bees; with a Bible.
So I now have a new attitude, more grace, and hope for an end. I can really feel it getting better, but I am still working out my salvation. He is only resisting bed time and nap time for an hour now, and the Holy Spirit is constantly showing me things I can do to diffuse the situation. I am looking to my inner man to receive advice from the Great Counselor, with each situation.
Obviously, he is still waking up in the middle of the night, but going back to bed within the hour it took me to write this (less all the up and down).
God is faithful, His way is perfect and His word is proven. He is a shield to all who trust in Him!
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